I have noticed an interesting phenomenon as I’ve traveled across the states to arrive not in the place I had not planned. It is the approach to which others seem to view my journey. There are two main camps. Those that acknowledge the adventure and see the possibilities and those who are quick to point out all the problems I am sure to encounter along the way.
My first weeks were so fear filled that I am sure I attracted the negative outlooks more readily, but it is a good analogy for the way we each view life. I know for myself I have trained my brain from years of social work and other chemical and wiring issues to look for the problems. I can see many of them a mile away. Sometimes this works in my favor because I can plan accordingly. But it also works against me as law is impersonal and can only follow the vibrational stance I offer.
Even this morning as my RV home neighbor began to pack up to get ready to pull out, he was full of advice I could do nothing about. “You’re sure asking a lot of that Bronco pulling that trailer. Yes, Fifth-wheels are much better than what you’ve got. You can’t winter here in that thing, you’ll freeze to death.” These were his comments throughout our brief conversation.
I have already traveled the hard part of my journey, so getting a new truck and new trailer and a new hitch, none of which I can afford, really are not options for me. And as far as life many months from now, how can I know where I’ll be at that time when I can barely keep up with what is happening right now?
This journey has been full of advice I can’t use and at the same time spotted with encouragement I really can benefit from. The mechanic who sang the praises of a Bronco, though he was not so enthusiastic about the life left in my trailer! The few who got that freedom was the key to all this and not the recreation of an old life I already know how to live.
There was a woman who stayed just one night that I am sorry I didn’t get to talk to. I thought she was with her husband, but it turned out she was on her own. She looked much closer to 90 than 70 and was traveling in an old RV closer to 30 feet than not. She must have weighed all of 85 pounds as she walked across the park with her very lively little black dog. As she pulled away, her RV made the kinds of noises that makes you cringe thinking how it could pull itself up the hill – but up into the hills was the direction she drove.
But she was living her life without the kind of fear that I felt as I began and I wonder how she found her courage to move forward no matter what. I wonder what kind of advice she would have given – the kind that was focused on all the things that could go wrong and that I shouldn’t do or the kind that just says go for it!
In hindsight I really didn’t know what I was doing and it was on a wing and a prayer I got this far safely and relatively in tact. Yes, things broke, overheated, stalled out, and were highly uncomfortable – but we all made it and we are all okay. Besides, I have learned more in these last few weeks than in all the months I spent preparing. It is in the journey we learn, not in the preparation.
One of the biggest messages I got coming here was “NO ONE gets to their dreams alone.” I’ll keep saying it over and over because it is true. In The Course in Miracles, we are told that Relationship is the Holy Temple of God, not a place or an idea that is singular or on its own.
And every interaction and piece of advice is each of us in relationship with each other. We can support the dream or try and tear it down. That doesn’t mean we don’t help when advice is asked for, but do we really need to offer it when it’s not?
I’ve talked a lot about the idea you can only stand in one of two places, the problem or the solution. But without problems how would we know where to pivot to next? Without problems what need would we have of each other to create relationship? Problems are just the starting point, not the main point. Problems are not what we need to look for, they will appear on their own as steps to guide us where we need to go whether we think we do or no!
All of this is training me to be much more gracious, patient, encouraging, and open-minded as I go both with myself and with others. Who am I to say what each of us can and can’t accomplish no matter how broken down or ill-equipped we may be? And isn’t that really the point? Faith is not built by avoiding what we fear but by facing it and moving forward anyways.
No comments:
Post a Comment