It’s another Monday and while most are celebrating it as Labor Day, it occurred to me I’ve finally found my moment of a very NON Labor type of day! What I mean is that for the last several years and then some, life has been about trying to find a way to be in life without all the labor it seems to involve!
For the last year and a half, my life was cranked up in intensity with every passing month of letting more and more go, from my beloved dog Rocky to my house and finally to almost everything I owned. But letting go is rarely anything but labor intensive. I had to find homes for the stuff. I had to make peace with the losses of what my old life was. And, I had to go up and down stairs, carry boxes, hold sales, drive to and unload at the dump more times than I could count! Then there was cleaning, organizing, paperwork, details, and getting ready for the next move out and away in the trailer.
Each time I thought I’d had my hardest day, I found another one that was equal or worse. The dream was a moment in time in my future of when my days would consist of what I wanted, valued, and cherished and did not consist of what I felt obligated to, responsible for, or imprisoned by.
This morning as I woke up to a spectacular sunrise, nestled in my very comfortable bed, surrounded by my beautiful cats I realized that all my “to do’s” would take about 10 minutes and the rest of my time was my own. Yes, there is PLENTY I could put on a to do list and no, I’m not off the hook for all responsibilities – I still have the drudgery of getting established in a new state, and so on…but really, I’m right where I have longed to be – plenty of time for Spirit, God, Life, Beauty, Joy, Peace, and only the amount of responsibility I want for now.
It then occurred to me that this was my transition moment. I had gone from the deconstruction of my old life, to the recovery in between, to now facing forward as I created a life I want – not one I think I should have or was told by the world I need to have. And the idea of a labor free type of future (for the time being) sounds really, really good!
I don’t know what the future will hold. I got an email from a friend who has done what I’m doing but is a year ahead of me. She told me she too has found nothing has gone as she planned it, but it has always taken her where she needed to be. And to “be” was the greatest part of it all.
In a world that says doing, going, getting, fixing, accomplishing, attaining, and on and on is the goal we all seek, the idea of time to just “be” may not sound satisfying or worthy. How could we be created to just be and not do? But it is only when we learn to be can we access our true creative power and for me, I needed to build a life that allowed me to be and not get distracted by all there was to do.
I don’t know what the future holds, but for the first time in a very long time the future feels open and exciting as I acknowledge what I’ve done and what it took to get here. I am grateful to all who helped me along the way and I am happy that for this moment I can relax and let down long enough to feel the joy, peace, and love of life and Spirit fill me up and give me the gift of everything I need in this moment. While contentment rarely lasts, it is sweet in the moment it arrives.
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