I'm at that point in my life where I start to hit the wall. While I have gotten very good at letting go and tearing my life apart, I'm not so good at putting it back together - all the way. I usually get to this point, where I've got a plan and a clear path to begin the deconstruction again…
Good ideas and good plans aren't my problem - following them all the way through is my problem. And as I was contemplating this - yet again - I was also noticing that for my new friend Freedom was the opposite problem. Every time he's started to get what he wanted, someone outside of his control stepped in to tear it all apart. This last time it was me that took him from his friend and his home and plopped him in a tiny trailer with a cat and some woman who he didn't ask to know or live with.
But what is different for us is that I want him to be successful and happy and content in this life. His fear of success lies in not getting what he really wants. For me, my fear of success seems to be in getting what I want. We are both at the same point in our lives with very different long term goals and history of outcomes. The problem as I see it is I'm in charge of both outcomes and can I be trusted to do the right thing?
Of course the great irony that is striking me as I sit and write this is that the formula for success for us both is the same…put one foot in front of the other on the path that leads to what you DO want. For Freedom to be successful in this new life I am offering to him, he needs to let go of his fear of just about everything.
To help him do just that I need to ask him to face his fears and as Susan Jeffers says, say yes and do it anyways. Yes Freedom, the trash can is scary but you can walk by it and be okay. Yes Freedom, that noise was loud, but you can hear it and be okay. Yes Freedom, the shaking trailer floor is scary but you can stand on it and be okay. So far, he's doing great. He's even starting to smile and be happy to see me on our longer walks in the wild.
On the other side is me saying no to most of the fears I need to face and then just not doing it anyways. Witness to this fact - no new blogs, video's left undone, and projects left in limbo. My excuse? A variety of physical complaints that seemed to have mysteriously cropped up….coincidence, no such thing.
Lucky for both me and Freedom is that each day is a new beginning and each moment an opportunity to make a new choice - one that supports the goal of success or defeats it. Lucky for Freedom my commitment to his success is much, much greater than my own - like most women, we'll commit to others before our selves…oh well…
Lucky for me, I can't get fired or let go for missing my own deadlines - unless I want to quit and find a new dream. The thing is, this one is about as good as it gets, so today I decide to get back on the horse so to speak and commit to both me and my new friend Freedom's mutual success - after all, real success is when everyone wins!!!
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