What's in a Dog's Day?

Just thought I would do a short update on Freedom here in the tiny trailer!  He's getting more confident - but he's also got a new friend that is helping him with that when we are out walking with loud noises and strong wind gusts (which by the way are getting really tiresome....)

Rosco and Freedom - I think the appeal is it's like looking in a mirror!

He's had a few digestive issues so this is what I swore I wouldn't do...cook chicken soup.  Trouble is the rice was more like popcorn flying out of the dish while he ate!  Good thing I put a towel down first!

The food was flying, but at least it stayed down and in until morning!

He and I could also use some dog advice - he is losing his hair along the back of his neck, but nowhere else.  Found some awesome stuff "Vetericyn" that kills everything in the world it seems - except stress so I'm leaning that way.  There doesn't seem to be much itching - any suggestions?

Can you read in reverse???

Other than that, life seems to be okay for us all!  My plans to head north aren't looking too good.  The next program I wanted to go to said no - after they read my website and watched my video's - I can only surmise as to why....

But I am trusting the right place at the right time will show up and when it does we'll head out...that is if we don't get blown away by this wind first - look out Dorothy, here we go to OZ again!!!

What is limiting your perspective?

One of the greatest things I've used the last few years to get me through the boring, but essential tasks of life, are podcasts.  I've never been much of a talk radio person, but I have fast become a talk podcast person!  The mechanics are it occupies enough of my distracting thoughts to allow me to get through things I don't really want to do - it's an ADHD trick really and luckily, it really works!

What I have observed over the years is how hard people work to put parameters around new ideas that fit into their comfort level of belief.  It is true in politics, religion, relationships, and just about anything or everything that people think about.  And then, after they've thought about what makes sense to them, they declare it is absolute for everyone else.

This is of course why there is conflict in the world and why we go to war.  We judge what another believes and because it is different than our own belief system, we think we must defend it.  However, the better question isn't who's right or wrong - it is "why is it important to you that you be right and they be wrong?"

I can give you the answer even if you don't like it...we need to feel right in order to maintain a sense of control of our world.  The more we need to be in control, the more tightly we hold to our beliefs on the subjects that threaten that control in our lives.

The more fear we have of the world outside us, the more we need to explain it in a way that makes sense to us that we feel in control of.  Those who truly search for "truth" will tell you - the more you think you know, the less you realize you know!

One of the best examples I found was trying to explain three dimensions to a two dimensional being.  If there is no concept of up or down as depth, but only width and length - how could you ever do that?  If you don't have the ability to comprehend everything within the limits of our tiny perspective - how can we ever really find the ultimate answers within it?

The more I observe others holding tight to their beliefs, the more I've had to be willing to look at my own. Clearly it can't be everyone but me!  And it is this tiny shift that has made the biggest difference in my life and own path - because it is the biggest thing that has limited me, that limits us all.

I like hearing others viewpoints because it allows me to question my own and decide what I want to keep and what is time to let go of.  An open mind is the key to freedom.  A closed mind the cell that is your prison.

When does the next transition begin?

The other day I was cleaning up - well reorganizing my mess would be better description - but I came across a notebook and inside I had written last July 2010 what I wanted my life to look like.  As I read it I was amazed at how it was describing my life exactly as it is now. 

This was all before I had bought my trailer but just after I had made the decision to let my California life go.  I knew my life would be changing, but I had no details other than the trailer as an option.  It is both gratifying and surprising to know I am in control of creating my life.  I just wish I paid attention more often to what it was I creating!

I am again at a similar point as I was that July.  I know that what I have created so far is about to change, but I have no idea but a vague feeling of what is coming next.  I'm old enough to have lots of information about what I don't want!  But I was again reminded that I still have lots to be opened to that I could want.

As I get older and with  more experience under my belt I have also come to realize that if I let go of more of the details and forms and just stick with the more abstract versions, what life delivers me is much better than what I could have imagined on my own.

I am happy to be happy - and does it matter why I'm happy or just that I am?

I am grateful to be safe and provided for - does it matter where, how, or why?

I am blessed to have the ability to love - does it matter who or what I get back?

Life is easier the more I let go of the reigns.  Peace Pilgrim is one of the women and teachers I love and who in my small way want to follow in her footsteps.  Though, I'm not yet ready to go so simple as just one outfit and a highway.

I think about her when I'm rearranging my mess and reading all the details of what I think I need to have and how to be happy.  And I would be fooling myself if I wasn't very excited to see what my life will be like two years from now as I remember writing this and can then look at what I created from it!

If You Could Choose Your Neighbors, Who Would They Be?

Yesterday was a really fun day!  I went to Hillsboro, New Mexico and met with Mackie Redd (mackieredd.com/) and his wife Kathy to make the next Jill's Journal video - which I'll share in the next week.  I didn't have much interaction with either Mackie or Kathy before I went, so I wasn't expecting anything, just trusting the day would take care of itsself, and it did!

It started with me getting lost (though I didn't know it at the time) on a dirt road in which I was standing with my dog who got a little stressed and needed a roadside break.  A car passed me, stopped and asked "Are You Jill?"  Why yes I am!  Good thing for me Kathy stopped because I passed my destination and with all the mountains around me doubted any cell phone coverage was an option!

The middle part of the day I'll be showing you soon - but as I left feeling really happy I had met these two very nice and genuine people I had the thought, I would really like them as my neighbors!  Now my idea of neighbors means walking not seeing distance - but that's never too much of a problem in the wilds of New Mexico!

There is such a difference in the sense of community as I travel.  The smaller towns just seem to ooze it - so far I've really felt welcomed and included and safe.  California was never like that - it was mostly about what someone could do for you and if there was nothing, well, why talk to that person?  Everyone was always so busy with something that you never really had time to just sit and chat and enjoy that simple version - not the scheduled two weeks in advance between other engagements.

But the other thing I am finding is that this type of world and life is what I am looking for.  There is the beginning of a sense of finally feeling like I am finding my real home.  California never felt that way.  It was a place to be until I could figure out where to go - that was part of the reason it was okay to walk away from everything I had there. 

I think our neighbors are a good way of symbolizing what we want out of life and are we getting it.  It's not about judging who is right or wrong, better or worse, but rather a way of seeing your self and the life you have created by paying attention to who is around you.

Being out of California I am finding there is much less of that feeling of someone wanting something from me or me from them and more of just deciding who I like being around not really wanting anything.  There is a belief that if we are not striving for something, we are not successful.  But who made that rule to be true?  When did chasing what we do not have become more important than appreciating what we do have?

Often we must lose what we think we want to find what we do.  I am lucky though, all I lost were burdens that I didn't want to find the freedom to find the blessings and the life I do want.

Meeting others who are happy with their lives as they are now, are just the kind of people I want to surround my self with.  Not the sad or sick or angry or victimized waiting for a future that will never make them happy - but the folks who love their lives as they are, now.

Thank You Mackie and Kathy for inviting me to glimpse just a bit of your wonderful life!!!

Why Do We Share More Bad News Than Good?

As part of the challenge in creating a new job definition for myself, I am having to reach out and ask others to share my videos.  While no logic is there in why this is SOOO hard for me, I am also finding a different kind of wall that I am hitting - that we are quick to share the negative, but not so much of the positive.

If you look at top news stories, the most viral of videos, and other fast moving ideas that are shared so easily now around the internet - what do they mostly consist of?  Humor (though it is often humiliating for the main target), Humiliation for the latest celebrity, or Gossip - sharing others pain to avoid our own.

While you will see the passing around of heartfelt videos and stories, they just don't have the same long term traction that the other kind of stories hold.  When on the phone what has more drama and excitement to share than why Whitney Houston died yesterday vs. a new discovery that will help a stranger you will never meet heal?

It must take an intentional action to share what is good and there is a very important reason why - because what we share we make more of.  Share another's pain and you've just invited more into your own life.  Judge another's mistakes and you've just invited that judgment into your life also.

But share love, joy, happiness, freedom - all that is good and yes, the same principle works, you've just invited more of that into your life!  No, it's not as fun as talking about the humiliation of another, but what joy do you have in someone else discussing YOUR humiliating moment?

It isn't hard to share what is good, but it is hard to remember to share what is good.  Like any habit we are trying to break, it requires a purposeful decision to choose to do the new and not the old.  What can you share today that will bring more joy into your life and into the world?

How do you know you're on the right path?

One of the reasons I chose this lifestyle for this part of my journey was so that I would have flexibility to make changes along the way.  If I had to start my life over, I wanted to make the process easier and not get invested so heavily with leases, jobs, and stuff.  I wanted the freedom to say this isn't working and just pick up and try somewhere else.

As I go and meet more folks, I am aware that even within this type of lifestyle there are a lot of different choices to make and paths to follow.  The time is coming for me to take my next steps so I've been paying attention to the steps others are taking to try and get the most information with the least amount of mistakes!

As with any decision making process, there comes a time when we start asking ourselves if we are on the right path or are we making a mistake and headed down a path that isn't really what we want.  But there in lies the biggest clue - what do each of us want?  What do I want?

I know I am ready for a home base, but listening to others share their adventures makes me question that choice.  I know I like to hide out and listening to others make plans to buy land and start building makes me question that choice.  These have all been options I've considered and hearing others live them out makes me wonder if I want the same thing?

But here is the lesson I'm trying to learn through all of this - what do I want and what path will then unfold to allow that to be?  So often we choose the form before the content.  Or, we decide we want Mr. X no matter what rather than decide what we even want from a relationship first - he may or may not be a good fit.

The same is true for where and how to live. What do I want for my life needs to come before where I and how I will live it.  What I want out of life needs to come before the how - and then I just need to trust what I can't see to unfold to support it.

Fear drives us to try and control the outcomes first to guarantee the process, but life doesn't work that way and this journey is no different.  It's fun to hear about others adventures, but hard to remember to stay focused on the bigger picture to allow the best path to unfold...at least that is what I am trying to remember for today!  Who knows what tomorrow will bring!!!

What is Life Really Like in a Tiny Trailer?

Before, during, and I imagine long after people have told me about their dreams of a what their life would be like traveling in a trailer.  Granted, I'm not doing much traveling, but I am officially living like I do - so that counts!  Women everywhere have always just understood when I have talked about the "running away" fantasy.  They always agree, yes, they've had that one too.  Almost every man I've ever made this comment to just looks at me like he doesn't understand...

Lately I've been thinking things like if  you only knew....yes, the freedom is AWESOME!  I won't deny I love knowing I can pick up and go if I want to.  I love that I am contained and mobile.  I love that my life is very simple.  I love that I never know who I am going to meet each day and what new adventure or gift that will bring.  I really LOVE that part.

But then there are days.....like every one for the past 75+ in which I just don't want to be cold any more!  The realization that no one is going to fit in this trailer but me - made even more clear when Freedom came to live and brought his stinky gas with him....no way I'm letting a man do that in here!

Then there's me hoping that someone other than the 9 single and lonely men living across the street would move there - and just when there was hope, a woman my own age on the same journey, she never came out of her trailer....partly because of the cluster of 9 single and lonely men who sit outside all day around her, but such a bummer!

But then again, as I was out walking this morning getting ready to climb up the tiny hill to let Freedom run free, I heard a noise I didn't recognize and when I looked up, coming over the bluff was the  most spectacular formation of ducks - they were flying so low they looked more like they were floating over my head.  I couldn't take my eyes off them - all the while hoping they wouldn't poop in my eyes too!

There is much  more good than bad, but sometimes you've just got to be honest and honestly there are days I just want to turn on water that is already hot, have a bathroom that is inside my house, and not have a floor that shakes and scares the only male that's ever going to live in this tiny box with me!

When is Life, Art?

Ghandi once said his life was his message.  I would also like to add that our life is our art.  True artists don't paint to sell, they paint to express what they feel.  True writers don't write for any reason except the words are asking to be expressed.  Or, at least that is what my heart would say to my spirit.

The battle I have noticed within myself these last years as I try and find my way to express my art as my life is that "outcomes" seem to get in the way.  What will people think?  How am I changing things to get sales?  When am I doing less than my vision to make others comfortable?  When do I compromise my vision for another persons concerns?

Art, like life, goes through stages.  In our innocence we do what we feel.  But life often shows us that the external world doesn't always reward or accept that version.  So we compromise.  When art must lead to money, we are faced with an even bigger dilemma - which is more important, our art or our income?

It is easy for those who don't have to consider children, mortgages, and all the responsibilities of most of our lives to just create art for the sake of creating.  But when we can't do that, what is life then really?  Isn't the whole point of life to live as creatively as an artist does in their own medium?

I have envied the crazy artists who have a cadre of caretakers attending to food, cleaning, the basics of the business of life.  They have been men mostly.  As women, it's hard to choose creation over the roles we have assumed to be responsible for - and it is not wrong to do so, someone has to:)

Art is really only the creative expression of our inner vision.  It is our imagination which is really what creates the world and the Universe around us.  So I do believe our life is our art.  The problem isn't naming it, it's living it. 

Simplifying my life was meant to allow more time for living my life as I wanted to and in many ways it has - I have no idea how I ever held a full time job, took care of a house and all the extra stuff that went with it - and even less idea how those who raise families do it all.  But they don't really, do they.

But most of us don't.  Even with so very much less to do, there's still too much to do that I don't really want to and there are still expenses to meet that are asking me to compromise in ways I don't know if I can any more.  I still yearn for more freedom, even though I have more than I ever have had before.

The truest expression of my life as art also requires the truest expression of freedom.  I can FEEL this, but I'm still trying to BE this.  In a world that asks us all to DO more, all I can feel is I want to do less so that I can BE more - that is the artistic expression of the freedom I desire.  I'm still working towards it, but today I'm naming it - again....