There's something I've been noticing more and more lately. It's the idea that everyone seems to want something from me, all the time. Hello is not just hello, it's waiting to see if there is an opening to ask for more. An email is not to say hi, but to sell or "network" or scam.
I had to go and run errands today and as much as I dislike entering into the thick of the "city" to do this, I try and remember my purpose is to see the good in everyone. I saw an older gentleman sitting on a park bench with an oxygen tank on my way to enter a store and I looked him in the eyes and said hello. That's another thing, eye contact has been replaced by screen contact on the various tecno devices.
Anyways, he said hello back and then launched into his story and could I give him money on my way out. Deep sigh. Now I would have to pass him on the way back to my car and make a choice, give money or say not today. The Course says give your brother what he is asking for as long as no one gets hurt, but everyone seems to be asking all the time….
On my way out, after having shopped for longer than I would have liked, I could feel that clutching in my chest, the hope he would be gone by now and I could just walk to my car. But, he saw me and I just looked at him and told him I was sorry, not today. Then guilt plagued me for the next ten minutes, and even now as I write this, but isn't the greatest gift I can give my brother to see him whole and happy?
I wondered as I drove away if I had gone up to him and asked if he would like me to assist him in healing his body right then and there. But I've worked with so many like him, that is not a choice that even gets considered. He would have just assumed I was crazy or, like many I've also known, gotten angry that I didn't give him what he wanted instead of what he needed.
That's the problem with miracles and healing - you can't get one unless you want it. And, for so many, the miracle would create a level of personal responsibility and identity that is in contrast to the way humans have learned to see themselves.
I know that as the economy continues to shrink and money becomes harder to get and worth less, this trend will continue. I can feel the panic growing more intense every day. Sell, sell, sell - I don't have time to talk or listen, if you're not going to buy what I am selling, I need to move on and quickly…. That's the message that is being given.
But if we are all drowning in the same problem, how will stepping on each other to climb up really solve anything? Won't it just buy a little more time in the game?
God did not create us to buy and sell to get things. The buying and selling is really just an excuse to be in relationship with each other. We've lost the point and made money our god, and not God our Source and provider. How does anyone really think this is going to end? God loses and money wins?
There is a song that has been playing on the radio lately, I think it's called "The worst of times" or something close to that. But in it the man and woman are struggling with the outside world of work and money, but eventually they find their way back to each other and discover how much love they have to give - abundantly.
Doesn't this seem like the more likely solution? To discover that we need each other more than we need to have more money than we can really use? Yes, this lesson is hard and yes, many of us are doing with much less - I know I am. But, I have also never been happier, more content, and felt more powerful.
Money is not my God, nor is it my Shepard - it is just a tool that will be provided when I need it. And you my dearest brother and sister, it is you I came here to be in relationship with - not your money or what I think you have to give me that I lack.
This will soon be for many, the best of times as we remember who we are and why we came and find each other as we lift up our eyes and open our hearts.
Jill
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