Saturday, July 31, 2010

If You Build It......

Yesterday I wrote about being inconsistent, but today I want to write about being consistent when you get committed.  Like so many these last years, I've watched the life and world I knew fall apart, despite my best "thought" efforts to create what I had thought at the time I wanted.  I know this is all part of the process on Earth - the old must crumble to make way for the new, but it can be really hard to sit around feeling like you can't make any progress because whatever is next isn't here yet!

I've had ideas brewing for years, but nothing ever held and I could not seem to commit to anything 100%.  If I thought I had, well it didn't take long to get distracted or removed from that track and moved onto another one.  Moving along this path has not been straight and direct as I would have thought it "should" be!!!

But this morning, I had a new feeling and it felt really clear and focused.  I've had this feeling before and when I have had it in the past, well I'll move those mountains because I've finally committed myself to my "cause" as Cause.  Before I share all of it, I need to sit with it a few days and make sure it wasn't the coffee or lack of sleep!  But if it's the idea and dream I think it is, well, hold on world because it's time for the next phase to kick in!

Like so many I talk to, I've felt the restless energy moving, wanting what ever is next to show up.  Be it the dollar crashing or the war starting or somehow the world returning to some new form of normal.....but nothing out there seems to be changing with any great speed.  It's been a slow death with out any sign of which way it's going.  It's hard to know which way to turn or what to commit to or invest it.  Will the place I move to be there a year from now?  Will money I earn be worth anything next month?  So much uncertainty is a huge contributer to these feelings of not being able to be consistent.  How do you commit when you can't count on anything???

For now, I'm just asking the questions, but soon I hope to be writing about the answers and ideas I think are finally ready to stop percolating and agree to be poured into my cup...and if I'm on track, let my cup runneth over!!!!

Jill
jillelizabeth.net

Friday, July 30, 2010

Consistently Inconsistent...

Well, I've already missed my goal of writing daily.  I do write in my private journal everyday and have for most of the last 32 years.  But not here and that was my small goal.  While I've already had the guilt fest on my own, I'd like to take this opportunity to look at what the purpose of wanting consistency actually is.

These last 3 days have been busy and in all honesty, writing here isn't a part of each day's immediate goal.  However, writing here is part of a long term goal, so how do we chose each day which set of goals to meet?  Do short term or long term goals take priority?  If I don't meet my short term goal, what happens?  If I don't do the steps to meet my long term goal, what won't happen?

But the real question I am asking myself today, is why do I so consistently sabotage myself in both my short and long term goals by being inconsistent in both arenas?  I have been aware of my inability to be consistent with anything that contributes to my own long and short term happiness and success for some time.  However, being aware hasn't been enough.  Nothing is changing except the amount of time I have left to keep up this very unproductive behavior.

But yesterday provided an experience that resulted in me asking a very important question about all this to my self this morning.  Perhaps it's the first real question I have ever asked my self or at least listened to my self ask!  It wasn't what I wanted to change about the effects or results in my life...rather it was the only real question we can ask ourselves...who do we want to be as Cause?

What does that mean?  It means that we've all become so focused on what we want to get, we rarely ask ourselves who we want to be to get the results we seek.  I have asked this question in other forms to those who have read my materials and to myself endlessly...but today I heard it in a new way.  Mostly because yesterday I touched a bottom of sorts - no alcohol or drugs involved - but a level for me that I don't want to stand on any more.

Who was I being as "Cause" that created this "effect" I never want to be a part of my life again?  And then more specifically, why do I keep hurting, denying, sabotaging, attacking and depriving my self of what I really want while I chase after effects I really don't care about?  How much longer was I going to deny who I AM Being that is creating what I am getting?

The first step in change is awareness of the problem. Been there, done that....what's next? And then, how do I become consistent in what I want to BE long enough to create what I want to have in my life?  The more I create of what I don't want out of this life, the harder it is for me to stop looking and feeling myself rage against it long enough to allow the next idea to manifest.  Again, I'm back to consistency.  Consistency hurting myself is no longer something I want to excel at.  But as always, am I willing to do the hard part and reverse gears long enough to achieve the real goal in life, not the effect, but who I AM as Cause?

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Creativity Crisis or Revolution?

I read an article recently on how America is declining in the scores of children's CQ.  That's Creativity Quotient, you know IQ (Intelligence Quotient) and EQ (Emotional Quotient).  While normally I'm not a fan of labels and testing, this idea struck a chord.  After all, Creativity is the life blood of the entire Universe. 

You can find the article here:  Newsweek Article

You may or may not agree, but as science and spirituality begin to overlap and merge, we're finding the Universe is very creative, dynamic would be another word for it.  The thing I like about the idea of Creativity is it's neutral, it doesn't spark wars or debates like scientific or religious beliefs do.  If you ask your average person if creativity is something they'd like more of, most would probably say yes.  If you asked if they'd die to defend it, most would probably look at you like you were crazy.

Take away a person's creative response to life and you might as well sign up for the best health insurance policy you can find.  Creativity is what sparks us to live, lack of it squelches the life force within and we're that much closer to death.  Life is Creative, change or perish and die is the call of nature.

I've got a lot more to say on this subject, but for now I wanted to post the article so you can see how it inspires you.  It has certainly inspired me!

Jill
jillelizabeth.net

Monday, July 26, 2010

Does Time Really Fly?

I don't know if you have noticed, but time just keeps moving faster and faster.  I know they say as you get older, it will feel like it's moving more quickly.  Remember when the school year dragged forever and the summer flew by so quickly?

If you look at prophecy, the years between 1987-2012 are meant to move at an ever increasing speed.  At this point I don't think I can deny it.  I seem to blink and and BAM, weeks turn to months and the only thing that seems to have been accomplished is my weeds are taller!  I know technically time can't fly, but it sure can FEEL like it does!

Indigenous people didn't have clocks, so they used cycles and seasons to measure time.  It didn't matter how old you were within that cycle, just what set of tasks were meant to be accomplished.  If you didn't gather food when it was ripe, you went hungry when the plants were withered.  It wouldn't take too many cycles of time to figure out if you didn't do the task attached to that cycle, you'd be at the effects during the next season.

As I find my self feeling the intensity of time seeming to close in on me, I find myself pushing against it even more adamantly.  But if you understand Universal Law you know that what you push against you just make more problems for your self.  Is my pushing against the speed of time the reason it feels like it is moving away from me?  I have to say, when I sat to write this I didn't think of that, it just showed up as I was typing, but it makes a lot of sense!

As always, it comes back to control....have you ever asked yourself just how LONG it takes to learn certain lessons!!!  Time is not something we will ever be able to control, but how many of us keep trying?  My intuition says stop fighting it and find your center within each moment.  As I talked about yesterday, I don't like abstract ideas - I much prefer specific solutions or concepts.  But if I further define what my pushing is, I can find the specifics I seek.  To begin with, how about not making the "to do" list wildly unrealistic so that it just highlights how much I am not doing in the amount of time I set aside to do it in?

The Course of Miracles states that one of the purpose's of time is to teach us what we need to learn within it so we will then no longer need it.  That only helps a little.  I find for myself that time as measured against what I need from it is really just me focusing on what I am afraid will happen if it fly's by too quickly.  Fear of what will be keeps me from finding peace where I am now.  Add in a little lack of faith and you've got the perfect formula for watching time move faster than you can control what you believe should be happening within any given moment.

Okay, deep breath.  Time flying by would be a lot more fun if I could ride on its back like Jake Sully does in Avatar on his dragon like partner - especially the big guy!

Jill
jillelizabeth.net

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Defining Love

One of the problems I have with so much of the information that is talked about in the world is its generalities and abstract qualities.  Using the word "LOVE" is probably one of the most abused and misused words and ideas when it comes to mis-information.

We say we the word love as a way of describing how we feel about another person, thing or event.  But if you look to spiritual definitions of the word love, it is described as indescribable, so how do we know how to actually use it accurately?

This has been an ongoing area of study and seeking for me, but it rose again this morning as I did my journal and prayer work.  How many of us say or hear the idea that there is only really love or fear in our world?  Again, it seems obvious but very abstract.  And when things get too abstract they lose any value to us individually.  How can you change or learn from something you don't really understand?

My stuck point was that no matter what I believe, do or want, the basis of how and what I get boils down to "do I love myself to create something good or do I hate myself and make something not so good?"   Where I get stuck is that deep within me there is still the belief that for me, love=pain.  So to love my self means things are going to get much worse.

It doesn't matter where or why those insane beliefs are born within our minds, all that matters is that we acknowledge them so we can let them go.  I can say logically that love should never equal pain, suffering or loss.  If it does, it's not real love.  But if logic was enough to fix me, well, all this struggle would have been over a long time ago!

As my world is shaking apart I am aware that I really need (duh!) to get over this old and useless belief that love = pain.  I'm tired of it, but even that is not enough.  I've learned over the years I have an incredible tolerance for pain.  That may have been a badge of honor at one time, but now it's just tiring and ineffective for what lies before me!

What is love?  It is acceptance of self, no matter what.  It is acceptance of others, no matter what.  Love can't have exceptions, or it's not love.  Love is really the power that holds this Universe together.  It is the Creative Force that we know as Life.  Trying to force it to conform to a label or definition that is not real in its world (like romantic love or conditional love) only causes us pain.  Love itself never changes.  Only we can deny it, it is there always and forever, unchanged, perfect and accepting of us.

So why do we reject or deny it for ourselves?  There is no answer that applies to us all.  But the solution does.  We just need to make a new decision for ourselves, that love is good and that we are that love.  Simple, but not always easy.  However, it's free, available 24/7 and waiting for us to accept it.  What more could you ask for?

Jill
jillelizabeth.net