Simple and Amazing!

            I must warn you the entry you're about to read will be most likely amazingly simplistic and boring to you!  The reason?  It will contain nothing earth shattering, revealing, or life changing - unless you know what lies beneath the words and images.

            I have been struck these last few weeks by the amazingly simplistic joyful emotions as I have done the most basic and rudimentary tasks performed by each of us every day without thought or care as we go through our lives.  As I've already written about making coffee and frying an egg, I'm sure you know where this is going….

            A few days ago I was sitting on my bed/couch with my girl cat and it struck me how perfect this moment was.  The temperature of the air, the comfort of my surroundings, and the time to actually just be, here, now.  My girl cat was lying next to me and I thought "Wow!"  I can actually sit here and pet her without strain to go and do something else and guilt about not going to do something I must or should be doing instead.

            Each day has had similar revealing moments.  Even though I have performed the tasks I do now almost every day of my life, as I have found was to integrate them into this new way of living, it is like discovering their purpose and my appreciation for them all over again. 

            Like the egg and the coffee, simple stuff like finally being able to put on lotion or chapstick or trim my toenails has had a whole new burst of recognition and gratitude for being able to do these simple things.  On the one had it appears silly, but when you understand how life itself is called forth then it is groundbreaking after all…

            Desire and appreciation are the two greatest gifts we have to create our lives around us.  But so many in the western world have become so complacent and unconscious about our lives that very little of either is felt anymore.  Having the water actually IN my trailer to draw a drink from was a profound moment.  There are as many in Africa and the Middle East right now that cannot pour water from a spout as there are others who can, yet whose desire and gratitude for this task would be greater and therefore more powerful in calling forth life itself?

            I am repeatedly reminded by others who look on my tiny trailer as some kind of failure or loss or step down - but is it loss or sacrifice to awaken again to the joys of life and the power of creation that joy and appreciation bring with them?  I am starting over and building from scratch in many ways, but alternatively I am also learning and loving and finding a level of peace and joy and contentment I have not had before.

            I recognize that my path is not right for most people, but it is not the form of the path that matters, but rather the content you gather while you are walking along that counts.

            This old world is getting pulled apart, but I don't see it as a bad thing.  We have become complacent and lost our connection to what this earth really is and how we live within and on it.  What looks like loss in one moment gives us every opportunity to find something new and beautiful all over again.

            I'll try and find more interesting things to share in the days ahead, but for today even the ability to sit at my computer and write this with a minimum of effort and strain to do so is a gift in itself I have not had since I left my California home.  When I took my Mac from its big box in which it traveled with me bouncing in the back of my trailer, it was with gratitude and happiness I could use it again - yet how many years have I had it and forgotten how much I loved it?

            Each day I find something new that is really old to fall in love with all over again.  What could be better than that?

No Residency for You!

            I have met my first unfriendly and unhelpful person in New Mexico.  Yesterday I went to town to do more business of living things - transfer funds, get car insurance, and then I tried to register my car and get a driver's license.  At this time New Mexico is under fire for handing out driver's license like candy - you pay the fee and you get the license.  So, maybe this person was feeling the brunt of the times.

            I'd been warned to not go to the local DMV, but rather head one town over to the really nice office.  But this one was on my way, so I decided to stop in, took my number waited for 15 minutes and went to the counter.

            I pulled out my paperwork that I'd seen on line to have and the woman pushed it back at me with the words "you must have a physical address" and was clearly ready for me to leave.  I showed her where my physical address was on my rent receipt and she told me "you must have a lease."

            So let me get this straight, the only people who can get driver's license in New Mexico must have a one year lease?  "Yes."  Again, so you're telling me all the people who rent in New Mexico month to month can't get driver's license?  "NO."  And again, she told me, you must have a physical address AND lease with a physical address on it.

            At this point I was getting frustrated and it was clear I wasn't going to make any real progress, so I gathered my papers and left thinking I should have listened and gone to the other DMV!  But after a few minutes I remembered who she reminded me of.

           

            For those who watched the TV show "Seinfeld" there was an episode where a man made incredible soup.  But, he was very strict about how you ordered and if you displeased him he cried out while pointing his finger, "No soup for you!"  And then you were barred for life or if lucky, only a year.

            He was referred to as the "Soup Nazi" and he was a lot like the lady at the DMV.  "No residency for you!"  And while she didn't point for me to leave and she didn't say these exact words, the effect was much the same!

            What is fascinating about this is that at a time when states have very little money she would refuse my willingness to give her mine.  I stood with more identification papers than needed and it's fairly clear I'm not an illegal alien trying to pull one over on her, but her need to right and rigid was the driving force in her focus of thought.  She entirely missed the bigger picture - that if I didn't have my paperwork filled out the way the state wanted, what did I need to change?

            Once I calmed down, I was able to ask the people who had issued me my other identity documents to make the change with the physical address on it and I am hoping this next attempt will be more successful with the nice lady at the next town over, I'll let you know.

            But the point to this story is how often each of us miss the moment life is trying to teach us while we are busy being right and rigid - regardless how this is working against what we really want.  I am assuming while this woman probably doesn't like her job, she does want to keep it and based on the feedback I've gotten, almost no one goes to her DMV and people will happily wait over an hour at the other town's just to not have to experience her and her office.

            She may be yelling at me "no residency for you" but the long term effect of that is "no job for you!" because without paying residents of your state, you won't have a job much longer!

            I am happy to report she has been my only unpleasant experience and it may actually turn out better in the long run after all.  There is the unpleasant task of getting this trailer registered somewhere and maybe the nice lady won't make me drive it all the way down to her tiny town?  We'll see, but for today, I encourage us all to let go of needing to be right and try and see what we might be missing that is for our best interest in the long run!

Love in a Small Town

 

           While my traveling may have stopped, what is new to see around me is not!  I've been thinking about this idea of "finding love" out in the world and have become aware of how different it is depending on where you live and what culture you are in.

            Coming from Southern California, opportunity's abound is the prevailing belief.  Thanks to the Internet and large population base, it can feel like the field to choose from is infinite.   Thus, the list that so many carry for the requirements of their perfect love seems to get longer as the picking pool gets larger.

            There are too many issues with trying to find love in a place like So Cal, I can't list them here, but being over 30 and bigger than a size 4 puts you over in the more undesirable category - regardless of any other trait you may hold.  It got so bad at one point that one wrong word in an email or the faintest of promises in a passing glance over a picture of someone never to be met, and BAM!, you are off the "maybe" list all together! 

            While I told others of my plans to move, so many of the women had hopes for me to find someone new on this journey.  While not my purpose or burning desire, I'm not totally opposed if a good match for me would show up!

            With that said, I'd been on my first farm for less than a week as you remember when my trailer broke.  When I took my trailer in to the mechanic he awkwardly asked if I'd be interested in a date with a friend of his who had seen me around - and then began selling him by what he did, leaving out details like how old he was (everyone here is pretty old just by looking!) or kids, etc.  I stumbled around telling him I didn't even know where I'd be sleeping tonight (true) and that maybe later.

            Soooo….when I went to pick up my trailer, there he was - there was a whole group waiting for me.  Ambush came to mind!  I tried to be polite, really I was wanting to know what went on with my trailer and not about some picnic next Saturday.   I found my way out and off to my new trailer park home.

            Well, two days later at 7:15am, I heard a truck pull up.  I'm still in bed and not dressed - he calls out to get dressed then and here we are, again.  He then tells me his story and how he's just looking for the magic.  How do you politely say, I can tell you right now I'm not magic, I’m not even sure what I'm doing right now!

            Three pens, one business card, and an offer to live at his house and earn money by pulling weeds later, he drove away and so far, he hasn't driven back.  But what occurred to me is that in a small town far away from a big city resource pool, magic is more about opportunity and availability than any physical or other kind of trait you may be looking for.  If you're looking for love in a small town, you've got to move quickly on any new woman or man moving in, because you may miss your opportunity if you delay!

            While all this is going on I've also been reading a book by James Michener about South Africa, The Covenant.  So far he's covered life from the beginning to the early 1800's.  Let me tell you, finding a wife was as simple as finding the first single female over about 14 years old.  The list included not married and breathing.  If you couldn't ride to the next farm and get one of their daughters, you asked for a woman to be shipped in from your home country!  If that didn't work, pity the native girls or slaves.

            My oh my how things have changed!  I wonder if we focused less on trying to find the perfect man or woman to live our lives with and more on how to live our lives with the man or woman we were with, we'd all be a bit happier?  Statistics show that marrying for love is no more successful than an arranged marriage.  The divorce rate and the cheating rate might be a lot less also if we let go of the fantasy of a perfect person and focused more on how to love perfectly.

            I do need to add, for most of our recorded history, women had to marry to survive.  In many ways it was a legal form of prostitution - trading your femaleness for a place to live and an acceptable place in society.  Unmarried women just didn't do well and most ended up with the other form of prostitution - which I am sure was most unpleasant.

            I'm not saying you can't be happy married and with children, but having choices on how, where, and why you want to live your life are not all bad.  I think in today's world we are all still sorting out our roles, though I often hear men wanting things to return to the old ways.  Well, if I had a wife who did all my cooking, cleaning, childrearing, and "accommodating" to my physical needs at my desire and not theirs, who knows what I could have accomplished out in the world.  But freedom needs to be equal for us both, thank you very much!

            Back to the here and now, we'll see how living in small towns goes.  But I will say to all the women who want to get married - think about a small town!  I've had several men ask about my knowing anyone their age (okay, around here the men looking are all over 50ish) and would probably be happy with a real woman and not the pretend versions that have to stay super thin, super stupid, and super superficial!

            As I rode my bike home the other night, I saw a man and woman holding hands as they walked along.  He was normal sized, she was about three times wider from the rear view - but holding hands as they walked they were.  This warms my heart and gives me hope that when the time is right the right man will be around.  My list is rather short, but while I'd admire the women who lived with anyone to grow our various countries strong - it is still a bit longer than not married and breathing!